The grief of losing a loved one is the most painful thing in life. But no matter how painful it is, you should not die too. Please live your life as hard as you can until the day you see them again in the next world. That is the best memorial service for the deceased.
From the teachings of Master Ryuho Okawa, we have selected a mental prescription for healing the grief of bereavement.
Separation at Death
Death is very saddening.
It is also painful.
Living beings want to continue living
For as long as they have life.
They will continue to live
Until one day, they fall ill or grow old
And are taken away by a messenger of death.
Death separates married couples,
And makes parents and children unable to see each other.
You know in your head
The teachings of the pain of parting from the people you love.
Yet, tears will fall endlessly like a stream.
Even Buddha's words that say
The love for your family is essentially attachment
Will sound very cold-hearted.
When life ends in this world
And you have to separate from your loved ones
It hurts, it's painful, and it's sad.
But remember, people are equal in the name of death.
Find solace in knowing
That you can see them again in the afterlife.
“A Guide for the Mind”
Death is not an eternal separation
Death is not a happy thing for us living in a physical body, but from a spiritual viewpoint, it is a departure for the other world, a return to our original home.
Life in this world is just like studying abroad and after the study is finished, we return to our home, this is the time of death.
Mourning over the death of someone is understandable from the emotional or cultural aspect, but feeling too much sorrow for the death of a person is a problem.
“The World of the Eternal Life”
The Bereaved Family's Attitude Toward "Departure"
I think you all must be familiar with the phrase "all things are impermanent" to some extent.
In human relationships, separation has already begun when we meet.
Even if there is no such relational separation in this world, there will certainly be a final separation in the form of "bereavement."
At that time, if you spend a long time grieving over the death of a loved one, it is hard on the person, too, who has died and returned to the next world.
If husbands and wives who are left behind in this world are sad day after day, it is too hard for them to leave for the other world. It is as if they are being pulled from behind as they enter a new world, meet new friends, study, and practice in the afterlife.
They feel a tugging at the back of their heads and say, "Oh, I'm so worried about my surviving wife."
If it seems too strong, they will feel sorry.
From the time we get married, we are supposed to be separated by death in the end, so we must calmly think somewhat that one day, we will surely be separated from our loved ones.
Thinking this gives a certain steadfastness and stability of mind in relationships.
This may seem cold in a way, but it provides something akin to a sense of peace.
From "How About You?" by Ryuho Okawa
When you break through the depths of sorrow, light comes up from below
There are many people in this world who curse their fate, wondering, “Why am I always the one to suffer? Why do I have such bad luck?”
They may have lost their parents in childhood, or they may not have been able to afford to go to school, or they may not have ever been married. If they did marry, they may have been separated from their beloved by death or by choice. Perhaps they could not have any children, or their children died young. Perhaps their children became addicts, or turned their backs on their families.
There is no end to the reasons why people suffer; the seeds of sorrow are without number.
But this is not to say that these experiences of sorrow, tragedy, and what seems to be bad luck are meaningless, or have no use to us.
The world where we resided before we were born on Earth, called Heaven, is a place with very little of this pain and sorrow. In this world in the third dimension, however, unlike in Heaven, active forms of evil do exist, and torrents of ill fortune can bear down on us and make it seem as though we are completely at the mercy of fate.
But we should not forget the Biblical story of Job, who experienced so many adversities and misfortunes that in his despair he cursed God.
God replied, “Are you so wise that you can judge the Will of God? Be more humble. Do you really understand my intentions?”
God was really saying to Job, “The obstacles you face are just stage props that I have created for the purpose of helping humans evolve.”
People who have passed away, leaving us behind in this world, may now be living marvelous lives in the next world. This tells us that we must not judge things from the limited perspective of this world. What looks to be misfortune is actually for the best, even if you don't know it yet. The more trials you face, the closer you are to the light. In the midst of joy, Heaven is near, but you are also approaching Heaven when you find yourself in the depths of sorrow. I hope that many people will discover this Truth. Find the courage to burst through the ground of the darkest pit of sorrow, reach for the light within you, and don't let go of the light that streams up from below; then Heaven will surely appear before you.
A group of close souls from past lives are born in the same era and support your life
In almost every era, you have a group of close souls that come to Earth with you for soul training. Many people of the same group are born in the same era with you. So if your relationships with family, friends, or business partners ever collapse completely, there will always be soul mates or soul friends that have spiritual ties with you that appear among your new relationships you make. In most cases, these soul mates will step out to help you.
A life span already lasts as long as 80 to 90 years these days, so I am sure that there is a wide variety of things that can happen in life. Please do not think of fate as something fixed or immovable. Please know that there are always friends of your soul or soul mates, who are supporting your life.
I believe you will meet someone in your lifetime that especially captivates your heart. This does not happen just between men and women, but also happens between women or between men. Even though they are not your relatives, you feel as though they are close family members. You may gain a lifelong friendship with someone who feels like a destined friend. Maybe you become Dharma Friends with the person who guided you to the teachings of the Truth, and you spend decades together. There are these types of connections, and soul mates actually do exist.