In the course of our long lives, we are sometimes blamed or slandered by others. Especially on social networking sites, whether you are a celebrity or not. There are many times when people write bad things about you. Are you also in pain and suffering from the same thing? If even you can learn the "right way to take" accusations and slander," I am sure that you will feel relieved from the pain.
From the teachings of Master Ryuho Okawa, we have selected prescriptions for the mind that will not be defeated by accusations and slander.
How to accept accusations and slander
You may hear negative things from others, but there are many instances when you should not take it as such.
For example, if an excellent woman who studies well and works well gets harsh words from a man, it is usually jealousy. Do not take it seriously. It is best to understand that it is jealousy and let it pass.
Of course, the same is true for men. Please know that in the world, when you are attracting condemnation, criticism, and slander, you are very often succeeding. When you are growing rapidly, whether it is academically, in your worldly work, or in your view of life, and when you are growing spiritually, you are more likely to attract criticism and slander.
When you are simply a failure or an average person, you are not often criticized or slandered. The world does not care at all about such people.
However, as you become more conspicuous, people become more interested in you. And they want to "snipe" at you in various ways. At that time, you have to realize that you are growing, and you have to become stronger in your soul. You have to realize, "I am succeeding now and growing now." If you realize that, then you must be stronger against accusations, slanders, and bad words. You must not be defeated.
Instead of dwelling on such things, it is important to work harder and more productively in the direction of your own success. It is about striving to reach a higher level. Those who have risen to a much higher level will not be able to be touched by those around them.
When they think, "I was in the same league as you, but you went up a little bit," they want to pull you down. They feel frustrated thinking, "I was in the same line as you, but you've gone a little bit higher," they feel frustrated, so they want to pull you down.
But when you go all the way up, they can no longer keep up with you and give up. You should know that that is how it is.
You may all think that you would be happy if people did not speak ill of you, but that is not always true. As you enter the path to success, people will often speak ill of you.
However, I think you should make a good judgment as to whether you are being told out of jealousy because you are on the road to success, or because you have an entirely bad personality.
Don't get it wrong about that, but in most cases, once you start having success, all kinds of slander begins to fly.
From "The Way to Happiness" by Ryuho Okawa
Those who criticize also depend on you
If you achieve great success as a politician, an executive, a celebrity or some other famous person, then weekly magazines, TV, newspapers and other media will start to criticize you. This is an example where being criticized is proof that you are succeeding.
At that time, you should know that if you receive a hundred criticisms, then some of them will certainly be true. Therefore, it is vital that you acknowledge those that should be acknowledged and use them to help you improve yourself. With criticisms that are completely inaccurate, you should do your best to shrug them off. Moreover, if they are beyond the level of criticism and are instead groundless abuse, you will need to present a strong counter-argument.
In criticisms like these, though, there is generally some dependence. In other words, those who criticize you also depend on you.
Let’s take, for example, the Japanese prime minister; he receives negative comments almost every day. The criticizers feel that since the prime minister has ultimate authority in Japan, he deserves to be criticized. This is one kind of dependence.
Similarly, they don’t mind that their criticisms are not 100% true. They feel that because the prime minister has ultimate authority, it can’t be helped if he is hit by a few rocks, considering the jealousy of the public. They don’t mind if the criticisms are more or less wrong. Some of the criticisms will be right, but you must take into account that there is also some dependence in them.
The criticizers, in addition, hope that the person they criticize will not waver even when he or she is criticized, so they become disappointed if their target is easily hurt. However, while they do hope that their target is resilient, they also hope to bring him or her down with criticisms.
That is the nature of the mass media, but even in companies generally, there are people in rival companies who most likely feel the same way. There are also people who are not on the track to success who feel critical of those who are. Perhaps it is just as important to know the opinions of the general public.
From "The Laws of Future" by Ryuho Okawa
Do not indulge in self-pity, and walk your own path
To conclude, the key for the sun to rise again is not trying to hold on to the night for too long. It is important to know that the night will pass. In fact, you should free yourself from feelings of self-pity as soon as possible, and cast off the negative idea that you have been abandoned by this world. Always be conscious that you are a magnificent child of God and continue to move forward with this awareness as a support in life.
Though one person may criticize, another will praise you. Even if you cannot tell which opinion is true, just keep on moving forward. Only when the lid of your coffin has been closed will others understand clearly what kind of person you really were, so do not be upset by what others say at any one moment in time. I am not telling you to live an egotistical life; I am simply saying that it is not always possible for other people to understand you.
It is a fact that those who indulge in self-pity and who have a tendency to be tragic heroes often find themselves in tragic environments, just as those who disparage themselves often become targets of abuse. The same thing happens with dogs. People avoid throwing stones at or hitting a dog that looks strong, but a dog that looks ready to run away at the slightest threat may become a target of abuse. This perversity is part of human nature.
For this reason, it is important that you do not let yourself appear weak. Never indulge in self-pity; instead, walk your own path calmly and steadily. This is the secret of how to make the sun rise again.
A case where the more bad words were written, the more business flourished
The book "The Autobiography of Trump. It is the autobiography of Donald Trump, an American real estate tycoon. At the age of forty-two or forty-three, he has amassed an incredible fortune and is on the verge of becoming the president of the United States. (Note: Mr. Trump actually won the presidential election in 2016 and became the 45th President of the United States.)
In this autobiography, he says some interesting things. He had made a lot of enemies because he was too clever, and he has been criticized by others. He has been criticized by newspapers. However, he says in his book that the criticism in the newspapers was indeed hard on him, but the more the newspapers wrote bad things about him, the more his business flourished.
He said that whether the content was good or bad, at least having the name Trump on the front or second page of a newspaper was a tremendous plus for his subsequent business. So, "Don't be afraid," he wrote, "whatever they write about you, if they make you famous, you can make a profit." It is an interesting way of thinking.
I believe that people who are able to think this way have the confidence behind their thinking to overcome all kinds of criticism. They have confidence in their own achievements, and they have a strong spring in their mind. They have strong legs and backs. No matter what the criticism is, he thinks, "Oh, this is a tax on my fame," and he goes right up to the top. He has been fighting with the mayor of New York City, etc., openly criticizing them, and using that as leverage to go on and on and on. He is an interesting character. I thought he was pretty good, but there are people like that.
If you think in a yes-or-no way, as if getting criticism the game over, there is nothing you can do about it.
Come what may, turn it into an opportunity for the next leap
People who can only respond in a yes or no fashion will find themselves sucked into whirlpools of despair and often they become discouraged. Instead of limiting your decision-making to a simple yes or no choice, I would like you always to try to find a third option. This is extremely important and the difference between the lives of those able to think in this way and those who are not will be quite noticeable.
The idea of a “batting average” that is used in baseball cannot be applied exactly to life, but I can safely say that people who always search for a third option will have at least a thirty percent “batting average.” Or, to use the metaphor of a percentage of wins, those who win 30 to 40% of the time, in other words people who lose more often than they win, will be able to increase their wins by another 30 to 40% through adopting this way of thinking, even if they do not win 100% of the time.
Although the final results may not be what you were hoping for, your thoughts all through that time will stand you in good stead for the next stage. You may be defeated on that occasion and say to yourself, “although I did my best to find a way out by revolutionizing my perspective, things didn’t work out as I would have wished.” However, the effort you have made to think of all the possible alternatives is not a complete waste; when you face a different problem in a year, in two years or even in five years time, you will be able to find alternative solutions in another situation. The benefit of this effort is that once you have clarified your thoughts, you will be able to use these ideas next time.
To explain “revolutionizing your perspective” from another angle, it means thinking in a way that turns every situation to your advantage, even failure. It is an attitude where no matter what happens, you can always turn it into an opportunity to take the next step forward. If you experience failure, think of how you can use it as a lever with which to achieve something positive. This is one aspect of putting into practice a revolution in perspective. Think how you can use all the resources within your reach. Nothing is ever wasted; you can make use of every event and situation that occurs in your life.
The same applies to people. There are some people you like and some you do not. When you are with someone you like, you will feel joyful and happy. When, on the other hand, you meet someone you dislike, they will become your personal tutor, because you can make an exhaustive study, working out why their personality is so disagreeable to you. It is important to be grateful to have the opportunity to learn more about human nature. Try and find out why they make so many mistakes, why their character so displeases you, why they say such terrible things, or why they have such a pessimistic view of everything. If you study every facet of their personality, you will learn a great deal from them.
The lessons you learn from studying others become your personal savings. Do not regard a deposit simply as the money you put into a bank. The lessons you have learned and confirmed for yourself, through your own experiences and by observing others, are stored as your own “deposit” which can later be referred to as the occasion requires. People with a rich supply of these “deposits” will be successful in life. I cannot stress the importance of this attitude enough.
The expression “the sun also rises” may be old, but it describes one of life’s truths; there is no doubt that the sun will rise again. Every evening, the sun disappears below the horizon and rises again without fail after about ten hours of darkness. The sun promises that after it has sunk it will certainly rise again.
I wonder if there is anyone in the whole world who imagines the sun will not come up. I am sure everyone believes that the sun will rise again; no one ever doubts it. Why? Because the sun came up this morning, yesterday morning, the day before yesterday, and last year. It rose ten years ago and even when our ancestors were living, so there is no reason to doubt that it will come up tomorrow too, and the day after.
The same holds true in life. After any hardship or difficulty, you can be sure that the sun will rise again. When you are experiencing some difficulty or suffering, I would strongly recommend that you look calmly at yourself from the perspective of a third person, and consider whether or not anyone else has ever faced the same problem.
People tend to think their own worries are huge and that there is nothing they can do to solve them, but most problems are not unique. Similar problems have usually occurred before in the past, and they are occurring now as well. In most cases, other people have experienced distress or suffering similar to yours.
No matter how challenging the problems are that you encounter through life, you can change the way you perceive them and choose to face them with a positive and constructive attitude. The seeds of positivity and constructiveness that you germinate will assuredly blossom and ripen into a positive and constructive future.
On our journey through growth, we often face resistance. People around you may criticize you or try to bring you down. Sometimes you might find yourself being held back by the love of your well-meaning parents or by the envy of your teachers and professors at school or colleagues and superiors at work. In times like these, think about the strength and resilience of bamboo shoots. They are so strong that they will sprout anywhere, even through the floor. You can be strong and keep growing like a bamboo shoot. If you keep thinking strongly about reaching higher and growing taller, no matter what you are faced with, you will assuredly create a bright future.
It is also valuable to have resilience in times like these. The emotional vulnerability of our younger years makes us susceptible to hurt and unhappy feelings. There will be times when you feel hurt, feel down from being criticized or ridiculed, or feel like a failure because of a setback; you may feel so disappointed that you cannot imagine yourself ever becoming anyone extraordinary. Put a stop to these thoughts. Be strong, and get back up. Find the strength to pull yourself back up when you fall down. When you wake up the next morning, get up even stronger and with greater energy than the day before. No matter how many times you are knocked down, never give up, and keep getting back up on your feet.