Living with a feeling of envy is a painful experience. And the dreams and goals you have been striving for will gradually fade away. Do you ever feel distressed or a strong sense of unhappiness? If so, you should question whether or not you are feeling jealous of someone else. Becoming aware of your own jealousy is an important step toward letting go of unhappiness.
From the teachings of Master Ryuho Okawa, we have selected a mental prescription for overcoming jealousy.
Jealousy of others attracts hell spirits
The world of hell is a very harsh and painful place. And it is a dark place. It is not a happy and bright world.
In order to escape from their suffering, hell spirits come to this earthly world and possess people who have the same tendencies as they do, people who have the same hatred, anger, jealousy as they do. While doing so, they can enjoy the feeling of being alive as a human being. For this purpose, they come into this world, possess people, and drive them crazy.
I am sure that some of you have a certain amount of joy in seeing other people's misfortunes. I will not say that you do not have it at all. There must be a feeling of joy and relief when you see other people's misfortunes and failures. This is actually the point of contact with hell spirits. It is at this point of "joy at seeing others' misfortunes and failures" that some spirits will hang a rope ladder and come crawling up from hell.
When such spirits possess living people, sometimes they cause various diseases, sometimes they cause disharmony in human relationships, sometimes they bring down a company's business to a devastating state, and sometimes they cause people to believe in fraudulent people and bring about their own destruction. Also, when evil spirits enter the home, they will cause discord in the family.
Its starting point is a mind that is jealous of others, laughing at the failures of others, and feeling as if one's misery is even slightly lessened by others' failure. This kind of poor mind is actually what invites the hell spirits.
Have the "heart of blessing" for the person with whom you feel jealousy
People are not jealous of everyone. Rather, they are jealous of those who excel in the areas in which they have the strongest interest.
For example, if you have a strong desire to become a soccer player, you will feel jealous when you see someone who is better at soccer than you. However, you are not likely to feel jealous when you see a judo player, if you want to be a soccer player.
Similarly, if you strongly desire to have money, rich people will be the object of jealousy, and if you strongly desire to be loved by the opposite sex, you will feel jealousy toward those who are loved by the opposite sex.
As such, as a first step, we must know that "jealousy, the opposite of love, is really an action of the mind that tries to destroy the ideal image of what you want to be, or what you wish to be.
By being jealous of someone who is in the direction of your goal, you are prevented from moving in that direction, even though you are hoping to achieve it in your surface consciousness. This is because you have a tendency to criticize, speak ill of, and point out the faults of the person you are jealous of.
This is an important point. If all of you can honestly admit that the jealousy you feel in your hearts is toward someone you really want to be like, then I ask you to suppress your jealousy and, on the contrary, have a heart of blessing.
The heart of blessing is a heart of affirmation. It is a heart that wishes to be like him or her. The mind of blessing is "the mind that wishes for the happiness of others.”
With that in mind, you will all be moving through life in the direction of the people you are blessing.
If you are happy now, you do not get jealous of others that much.
However, the stronger your sense of unhappiness, the more jealous you become of others.
There is such a relationship.
Thus, the more successful you become, the less jealous you become.
Conversely, if you have a lot of failures or damaged areas, you will become jealous.
From "How About You" by Ryuho Okawa
Jealousy as "envy"
Jealousy is just right when it is colored “golden brown”
There is a saying by Konosuke Matsushita, “Jealousy is just right when it is fried golden brown.”
You shouldn't be jealous to the point of being "burnt black."
However, it is not good not to be jealous at all. It is good to be jealous of the color of a golden brown, but only to that extent. Konosuke Matsushita put it well.
Is this also a kind of middle way? It may be an unusual teaching, but I suppose it is the "middle way in jealousy."
Whether you are a husband or a wife, I believe there is still some jealousy and possessiveness.
Especially when one of the spouses becomes enthusiastic about hobbies, club activities, etc., it is tempting to become concerned and urged to say something. However, "Jealousy should be no more than golden brown. If it turns dark brown or black, you have gone too far.
However, it may not be good in the case of "no jealousy at all" either.
If you say, "Go ahead as you like. I don't care about anything or have any interest in you at all. I don't care where you may go or die," it is almost the same as you having no love.
It is better to stop at a point where you are jealous enough to be golden brown and not enough to cause harm. If you stop around that point, you will not become a ghost.
However, I would like to offer a word of caution: "If you get jealous until you are charred black, you will become a ghost."
This is true for both husbands and children. Do not be jealous until you are completely black. It should be slightly jealous until it is golden brown.
From "How About You" by Ryuho Okawa
Have the "mature wisdom" to control jealousy
It is "adult wisdom" to suppress feelings of jealousy.
We must suppress our jealousy.
We must have a sense of "respecting the other person as an independent individual."
It is the same in the relationship between male and female partners, such as husband and wife, and in the parent-child relationship when children are growing up. There is a range within which you are allowed to interfere and a range within which you must leave the rest to him or her.
'I love you so much that I'm going to enclose you so perfectly that you won't escape, and I'm going to set up a net around you like a trawler so that no sharks, no orcas, no other killer fish can come near you, and I will protect you." If you hold on to your husband in that way, he will gradually become strangled and distressed.
Some persistent women will call their husband's office to see what time he left. If the husband comes home late at night and says he had to work overtime, she will ask, "How late did you work overtime?"
This is "driving him into a corner," not loving him.
From the husband's point of view, he could go home early if his wife did not nag him. However, he cannot go home because his wife pursues him as if she were a detective or something.
As mature adults, there are certain things that we should, to a certain extent, let the other person be free to do. They need to know that "we both have our privacy."