Collection: IN-LAW ISSUES
I know that you are suffering alone with complicated problems.
But no matter how hard it is, please do not commit suicide.
You are a person who is needed in this world.
First of all, please read the words written here.
May your heart be healed as much as possible.
From the teachings of Master Ryuho Okawa to overcome conflicts with your wife and mother-in-law, I have selected prescriptions for your heart.
The unbreakable and deep relationship between a wife and mother-in-law
The friction between wife and mother-in-law is often talked about, but from a spiritual perspective, their bond is extremely deep. Often so deep it is inextricable.
In most cases, the mother-in-law has much more life experience than the daughter-in-law and knows a lot more than the daughter-in-law, so she often says, "I can't watch what you are doing because it's dangerous."
At such times, mothers-in-law are tempted to give many warnings, but since the recipients of these warnings are like new employees, each warning is extremely painful and becomes a conflict in their souls.
Thus, although you may feel various kinds of restrictions after marriage, you must think of it as "My soul is being trained, just as I would be trained in the business world.
In addition to the mother-in-law, there will be the father-in-law, sister-in-law, and so on, but all of them have their own good qualities.
As the saying goes, "There are no bad people if you associate with their strengths." If you treat each person with the mindset of "Let's learn from the good points they have," you can naturally learn from them, and those who are acting as your teachers will be impressed by the fact that "she has a very good heart."
There are no bad people if you associate with their strengths.
From“Tea Time” by Ryuho Okawa
First, praise them "in your heart" - and surprisingly they will start reflecting on themselves.
When relationships start to go wrong, we need to go back to the starting point, remember the spirit you started with, and take a hard look at ourselves.
Human values are not determined by ability alone. There is a much broader and varied set of factors. Most of the time, you are evaluating a person from one aspect and saying "That person is no good".
If you find yourself stumbling in a relationship, stop picking flaws, recognize the other person's strengths, and be willing to praise the other person. If you cannot say it out loud, think it in your heart.
Then the other party will start doing the same thing at the same time.
This is a curious coincidence, so you should try it. It always happens.
When one speaks ill of others, it is usually a hidden boasting of one's ability, as if to say, "I am this capable."
That is the reason why you are bumping into others, so you have to put it to the side and have a tolerant heart that says, "Let's see a little more of the good in the other person."
When we speak ill of others, it is often a boasting of our own abilities.
From “Tea Time” by Ryuho Okawa
Tips to stop bad words from coming out
When a family dispute arises, the first thing to try is to "start with right speaking."
Words that hurt people, words that judge others, words that really crush others and bring them down to the depths of disappointment, these are the words that should not be used.
When you feel like you are about to say something intense, take a deep breath. Count in your mind one, two, three, four, five, six ....... When you have counted to ten, you will not say the words.
Once you have said the words, the words themselves become living creatures and begin to move. They do their work. It enters the other person's head and heart through the ears, and arouses hatred from the other person as well. Then, even more violent words come out of the other person. The result is an exchange of words from both sides, and a bloody battlefield emerges.
First, please observe the first barrier: "Do not say negative, dark words that hurt the other person."
The important thing is not to let your mind become clouded or poisoned.
There may be something wrong with the other person, but there is no need to plant and amplify that evil in yourself.
When you are about to say something intense, take a deep breath and start counting.
From “Tea Time” by Ryuho Okawa
A "happy family" will be born from your kindness
I am not going to ask you to do something so difficult. What I would like you to do is to "always be a kind person.
Whenever you are buried in your work or suffering at home, I want you to remember these words. "Always be a kind person."
All of you will surely leave this earth someday. After some years or decades, you will surely leave this world.
Do you know how you will feel when you leave this world?
It is just like leaving the earth and becoming one of the stars in the sky.
As you leave the earth and ascend hundreds or thousands of meters higher, the earth looks smaller.
Memories of the squares where you used to play, the houses where you used to live, your friends, and various other people, all seem to fade into the distance. The forests, rivers, mountains, and other such things become faintly visible.
At such moments, you will think, "Oh, I wish I had been kinder to more people."
I predict that such a moment will surely come to you.
At that moment, you will all think, "How much better it would have been if I could have given love even just one more time, even one more kind word, to those I missed."
"Always be kind" - as you live your lives repeating these words in your hearts, you are picturing in your minds the moment when you will leave this earth.
Human beings are conceived in their mother's womb, born on this earth, and live for several decades. During that time, we experience various dramas and eventually leave this earth and return home to the next world.
The world on earth is a memory of a moment. It is a momentary memory, a momentary fairy tale, like that school trip, like that fun school life.
You are all living such a fleeting life on earth.
If so, why do you live such a stressful life? Why do you live so harsh a life? Why do you treat others so harshly?
If it is a world that will eventually pass away, let us leave behind as many kind memories as possible.
Let us be as kind to others as we would like them to be to us.
Don't you think the most gratifying moment for a human being is the moment when someone is kind to him or her? Isn't it the moment when someone is kind to you?
Then, let us always be kind to others. Let us treat others as we would like to be treated by others. Let us always live as kind people.
In order to eliminate the feeling of awkwardness and the feeling that a gust of wind is blowing through the world, it is better to be too kind to others.
Be as kind to others as you would like them to be to you.
From “Tea Time” by Ryuho Okawa