Many people suffer from harassment in the workplace. You may be in distress and suffering, unable to talk to anyone about it. Haven’t you been absent from work or have been feeling sick for a long time? It’s not easy to change someone's mind, however, if you can understand their way of thinking, you may be able to improve your relationship with them.
From the teachings of Master Ryuho Okawa, I have selected a prescription for your mind to remove as much of the worry and suffering from power harassment and sexual harassment as possible.
There are differences in the way men and women feel
Male employees who have been working for a company for 20 or 30 years, in other words, middle-aged managers, have a very different feeling today than they felt when they first joined the company, but they do not fully understand the difference. I think that many of them do clumsy things because they do not know what to do.
If it were a new male employee, a simple tap on the shoulder and a "Hey, how are you doing?" would suffice, but with a female employee, this can become a serious sexual harassment. If you say something like, "How's it going, are you seeing someone recently?”, sometimes, they would get red in the face and get angry, saying, "He said an explicit thing to me.”
Of course, if you are being sexually harassed in an outrageous manner, this would be a different matter. Just acknowledge as a first premise that what men feel and what women feel are different.
From "How to Grasp Happiness" by Ryuho Okawa
People who achieved success through hardships tend to enforce their beliefs on others, with the intention of obstructing the advantaged
Let us look at the example of a founder and president of a company. He struggled greatly as he worked his way up, and now cannot bear those who seem to have advanced without hardship. The founder toiled hard to create and manage his company, growing it gradually from a small business into a large corporation employing thousands or tens of thousands of workers. At that point, many candidates considered “elite” would likely seek employment there.
This is where the founder unconsciously starts to impose his own beliefs by manifesting his “credo” to his employees. These could be beliefs such as “People can never grasp the truth or do a good job unless they work their way up from the bottom.” Thinking in this way, the founder gradually chooses to refuse those who seem to have been well-bred. He cannot tolerate those who seem to advance effortlessly and smoothly.
The issue of jealous women wanting to disturb the happiness of colleagues
Those women with long careers may also be acting similarly from their subconscious feelings. Of course, I know that many women can be very capable and kind at the same time, but some unconsciously obstruct the happiness of younger colleagues. Sometimes, they may interfere with younger women as they are being courted, or occasionally behave harshly toward younger men.
When hindering younger women being courted, the older women may make intimidating remarks that they “are flirting,” “wearing inappropriate makeup,” or “are not serious enough and consider their work to be temporary jobs.” They may also abuse younger men to hamper their actions, claiming that they “are just chasing after girls instead of doing proper work.” These are all examples of behaviors initiated from the subconscious level; they are attempts by people to obstruct someone else's happiness.
All these behaviors are done by people to justify themselves and their pride. These actions are also carried out without people realizing that they are living with the loving benevolence of God or Buddha and a great many others.
They crave more love, and when they see others receiving love, it is intolerable to them. They will then act, either on purpose or subconsciously, to bring down those who seem to be advantaged.
Women's hearts are extremely sensitive. The way their hearts shake is not comparable to men's. They are extremely sensitive.
So, even things that men might think, "What's the big deal?", can really matter to women. Women tend to eat poison. If a man was told something bad about him, he would just kick it out saying, "What the heck, that's just your subjective opinion." And that's how it ends. But there are many women who, after being told, "Hey, you're so...", keep it warm in their hearts for five or ten years. I think the folds of their hearts are that delicate.
So, unless I choose my words very carefully, for example, if I am talking about a general opinion about women, they think, "He must be talking about me." This is how women react. If I say, "This type of woman is dangerous," they would think, "I am sure he is talking about me." On the other hand, it also can be said that because they are so sensitive, women have been protected in the home for a long time.
However, nowadays, because more and more women are moving into society by removing the bulwark of home or the family, their delicacy is making it easier for the mind to eat various poisons.
From "Discovering Your Destiny" by Ryuho Okawa
Beware of "persistent personalities"
Some people tend to take the words of others very straight.
There are some people who, when someone says something harsh to them, take it straight to heart and hold it in for a long time. And the person who said it may be surprised, "What? You still think about that?" The person who said it was just being frank about how he felt at the time, and the next day he completely forgot about it. But the person who was told the words has been thinking about it for years.
Perhaps that should be called a serious personality, but it can also be a persistent personality. You should be careful with that persistence, because it is also the personality that is most likely to become a ghost after death. To avoid becoming a ghost, a ‘not-harboring-on-one-thing’ character is required. There are not many ghosts with such a personality.
From "The Equation of Hell" by Ryuho Okawa
First, think "What can I do?"
Today, there is a great deal of complexity among women. On the one hand, they are demanding to be treated equally with men, and on the other hand, they are demanding to be treated differently from men.
For men who work in the same place, they do not know how to use it. They do not know whether women want to be treated the same as men or not, which parts they want to be treated the same as men and which parts they do not want to be treated the same as men. It is also true that men are very confused.
Therefore, I believe that we are still in a transitional period when a definite culture has not yet been formed. At such times, I think it is important to create an atmosphere in which women can gradually develop a culture that says, "This is how we want to be treated."
At that time, they may say things like, "We want you to treat us the same way you treat men in terms of promotion and advancement. However, we want you to treat us in a completely different way than you treat men," or some other difficult order. However, although they may not be aware of it, such orders may just be the outpouring of their different concerns in a completely different form.
Perhaps their dissatisfaction with their parents, or their dissatisfaction with their boyfriends, may just be showing up at the workplace in a different form. Please keep this possibility in mind as well.
In any case, we live in an era in which 70% to 80% of women work in the workplace. It is a very difficult time. In such an environment, no one knows what direction is really the right one.
However, what I would like to say is that the world will only become more difficult if there are only people who demand what they want others to do. If we have people who always think about what they can do, I think we will have an enjoyable society where men and women can help each other very much.
Please learn to think about what you can do to help others, rather than becoming a person who only insists on what he or she wants.